Do you select your friends
based on how well your cats like them?
Does your desire to
collect cats intensify during times of stress?
Do you buy more than 50
pounds of cat litter a month?
Do you scoop out the
litter box after each use? Do you wait at the box with the scoop in your
Do you think it's cute
when your cat swings on the drapes or licks the butter?
Do you admit to non-cat
owners how many cats you really have?
Do you sleep in the same
position all night because it annoys your cats when you move?
Do you kiss your cat on
Do you feed your cat
tidbits from the table with your fork?
Does your cat sit at the
table (or ON the table) when you eat?
Does your cat sleep on
your head? Do you like it?
Do you have more than four
opened but rejected cans of cat food in the refrigerator?
Do you watch bad TV
because the cat is sleeping on the remote?
Did you buy a video tape
of fish swimming in an aquarium to entertain your cat?
Will you stand at the open
door indefinitely in the freezing rain while your cat sniffs the door,
deciding whether to go out or come in?
Would you rather spend a
night at home with your cat than go out on a bad date?
Do you give your cat
presents and a stocking at Christmas? Do you spend more for your cat
than you do for your spouse?
Do the Christmas cards you
send out feature your cat sitting on Santa's lap? Does your cat sign the
Do you put off making the
bed until the cat gets up?
Does your cat eat out of
cut crystal stemware because you both watched the same commercial on
Do you microwave your
cat's food? Prepare it from scratch?
Do you climb out of bed
over the headboard or footboard, so you won't disturb the sleeping cat?
At the store, do you pick
up the catfood and kitty litter before you pick out anything for
Do you cook a special
turkey for your cat on holidays?
Does your cat
"insist" on a fancy Sunday breakfast consisting of an omelette
made from eggs, milk, and salmon, halibut, or trout?
Do you have pictures of
your cat in your wallet? Do you bring them out when your friends share
pictures of their children? (Pollsters claim that 40 percent of cat
owners carry their pet's pictures in their wallets, by the way).
When people call to talk
to you on the phone, do you insist that they say a few words to your cat
Do you accept dates only
with those who have a cat? If so, do you eventually double-date with the
cats to see how they get along?
When someone new comes to
your house, do you introduce your cat, by name, to them?
Do you keep old, empty
pizza boxes on the counter instead of throwing them away, because the
cat likes to sleep in it?
Is the only comb you can
find in the bathroom a flea comb?
Do you frequently leave
your dresser drawer open when you leave for the day, because the cat
jumped into one of them and is asleep in one of the drawers?
Does it always take you
longer than expected to read a magazine, because the cat keeps curling
up on it while you're reading?
Do you go to sleep sitting
up in bed because you were reading and the cat is curled up on your lap
Do you you make sure
there's plenty of kitty litter in the house, even though you may run out
of toilet paper?
Do you stand at the
computer because the cat is sleeping on the chair?
Do you sleep with no
pillow under your head, because the cat wants to sleep on it?
When you are preparing to
leave for the day, do you seek out each cat and inform them of your
anticipated return time?